But it’s possible that the customer before you just yelled at this cashier or that this cashier just found out terrible personal news. To you, you may feel offended since you just went out of your way to be nice to a stranger and you want the same courtesy in return. This worker may in turn give you an attitude or not acknowledge your kindness. For example, let’s say you are checking out at the Target register and you go out of your way to be nice to the cashier by asking them how their day has been. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. You feel if you are nice to others then everyone will be nice to you in return. If you are interested in learning more about self-care, check out our blogs: “The Mental Health Benefits of Practicing Yoga” and “How Meditation Can Lead To Stress Reduction.” It is important for everyone to find a nice balance between self-care and being there for others. It is possible that these other people in your life have some form of self-care in which they are taking time, energy, or money to take care of themselves first. You may feel that no one truly cares about you as much as you do to them. This would lead you to feel that you are putting in way more energy and effort into your relationships than others are. Read our blog “Understanding The Five Love Languages To Improve Your Relationship” for more information. But what often happens is that not everyone is capable of giving as much time, attention, gifts, or love as another. It is possible that you go above and beyond for your friends and family so that you will receive the same care and attention in return. If you try to please everyone then this will really drag your mental health through the mud. We are not all perfect and you will most likely experience some form of disappointment from another person you encounter in your life. There are just some people that it will be impossible to please. No one wants to hear that they are a disappointment to others. Another example would be that if you fear your partner could break up with you then you will work on pleasing them rather than expecting the same from them in return. For example, if you’re worried you may be rejected by your boss and you could be fired one day then you may go out of your way to go above and beyond to please your boss no matter the cost on your mental health. If you are worried that you may get rejected then you will try to avoid it at all costs. It could be fear of rejection from a job or from another person. If you avoid conflict by appeasing everyone, then you will most likely bottle up a lot of resentment. If you can get through a conflict with another person at work, at school, or elsewhere then it will make you a stronger and better person. While conflict has a negative tone behind it, it is actually a part of communication and helps us grow. You may find yourself avoiding confrontations with others so you can make them happy or you agree with what they say even if you feel otherwise. It usually feels easier to go along with what others say. Below are 11 reasons of how you may identify as a people-pleaser: Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, Florida, and New York. Our clients who present as people-pleasers usually find themselves feeling anxious, drained, and overwhelmed.Īnchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. This usually means that you are taking care of others around you before you take care of yourself. If you find yourself doing to this to the point of exhaustion then you may be a people-pleaser. Whether that is lending an ear to friends in need, giving gifts, or going above and beyond for others. Especially in this time during the holidays, people feel they need to give everything they can to others. A lot of our clients find themselves giving away too much of themselves to others to a point that they feel worn out.
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